Mom gifts

There are things you gain when you become a Mom in addition to the extra pounds around your mid section that are so hard to lose. 

1. The Mom dance. How it happens no one knows but man it really happens. It's like birthing the baby takes any and all coolness rhythm you ever had and gives it to your baby. All the sudden you find yourself doing some weird hybrid of the whoop there it is dance paired with a row row row your boat action. Another popular one is a bizarre take on pumping your arms back and forth, palms spread kind of imitating a weird bench press move. 

At least we parents are in this together. Dads don't escape the curse of the parent dance.

2. Bad jokes you think are hilarious (because they are). My Mom used to make funny jokes that she thought were super hilarious and laugh at her wit often and I find myself doing it all the time. 

3. The ability to think and do 2 different things at once but without the ability to communicate what you're doing so you just look insane. I do this at work all the time but for some reason am still lacking the ability to form coherent sentences so it just comes out as awkward "eh, awk, uh, wha" with some confusing hand gestures and finger pointing.  

4. The ability to laugh at everything.

5. The ability to cry at everything. 

6. The ability to tune out, I mean completely unplug your brain and sense of hearing to the sound of toys, kid songs, and whatever other racket that is keeping your child entertained. One day I was in the car and Austin was playing with a wheels on the bus toy that sings without ceasing and my friend said, "I can't believe you can put up with that all day". I no joke had no idea it was even playing. 

7. The ability to eavesdrop like a pro. For some reason when you become a Mom teenagers believe you no longer have the ability to hear. Probably because you've spent their developmental years tuning out annoying toys. I can't get over what my students gossip about in front of me. Before school many of them gather in my room and divulge in the latest gossip. Finally I will look at them and say, "I have the ability to hear!" and they are grotesquely shocked that I've heard their tirades. Not 2 minutes later they are back to the same routine. It is amazing. and terrifying. and amazing. 

8. The ability cook dinner in 4 minutes when needed. Nothing blog, pinterest or instagram worthy but yes warmed peas, grilled cheese and apple slices will do in a pinch. 

9. The ability to stay awake way too dang late doing insane things like carving pumpkin faces in small oranges. 

I do think Pinterest has taken us to a new level of Mom crazy but I disagree with people who say their children do not remember these little acts of Mommaloco. My Mom would do little things like put a small picture and note in my pencil box on the first day of school, wrap my cupcake carrier in birthday crate paper, build a mean fort, decorate my car for my 18th birthday, and honestly I could go on and on. Some of it is silly but deep down we know it's just another way we hope to show our love!.

10. The ability to go without a lot of sleep. Any sleep. Any significant amount of sleep for long periods of time and still remain sane. I'm not saying it's pretty and tears are not involved but somehow Moms are able to dig deep inside some hidden cave of strength, put one foot in front of another and carry on. 

11. Lastly the ability to love someone more than you ever thought possible. I mean this kid can throw up on you, hit you, keep you up for days, weeks at a time, make you feel like a million dollars and a chewed up piece of gum all within the span of 30 seconds and you're still more in love than you ever thought possible. 

It's the hardest and the best job you'll ever be lucky enough to have! 

Mom confessionals

I cleaned like a mad woman on Saturday because I knew even a 19 year old would judge me if she saw my house in such a sad state. I'm at the point where I've just got to give something up. Honestly keeping my house clean and having Austin is a job in itself. Then I have 2 other jobs and even though it's only been 4 weeks working again I'm realizing I can't keep it all together. Not sure what that has to be but it's just got to be something because when I'm cleaning so my babysitter won't judge me I know I'm at some low point as a person. 

reasons parents hate "school" (aka daycare)

We started "school" (one day I'll stop putting it in quotations but I think it's hilarious my one and a half year old is going to a school. Does he sharpen pencils? Does he go to P.E.? Does he take any standardized tests?) 2 weeks ago and I've learned so much about why parents are always complaining about school. If you've ever spent anytime on facebook prior to the beginning of school you'll see a million blogs about the joy of early childhood education. What a gift preschool has on molding young minds and how we should buy their teachers all sorts of pretty school supplies and presents because they don't make enough money (all true). But what you don't see is how much it sucks. 

Here's why.

1. Your kid (okay well, definitely my kid) does not eat or sleep even half of the amount of time he does at home. He's on some sorority/party girl diet where he eats hardly anything and plays when he should be sleeping. Why is this bad? Because when I get off and go pick up my child he. is. wrecked. When I walk into the room his eyes puffy, exhausted and HUNGRY! I get the joy of spending the next 3 hours resisting the urge to succumb to the toddler tantrum. Obviously he's had them before but nothing like the no sleep, no eat tantrum. These are epic and scare myself and our neighbors. 

Scenes like this are common:

Austin "Da-da, da-da, da-da" 

Natalie "Da-Da's at work still we can see him when he gets home". 

Austin bursts into uncontrollable sobbing.

Austin wants something he can't have. Like tonight his eye was on the luxurious prize of Philip's conditioner. 

"No, Austin. That's not a toy" Natalie

"uncontrollable sobbing" Austin

He is not the easiest kid in the world but the majority of the time he's pretty fun so this "new" side is really not working out for me. 

2. It costs 1/3 of my salary. This is another reason number one hurts so badly. I'm paying 1/3 of my salary to take care of this demon possessed child. Awesome. 

3. Everyone coughs and sneezes every single second. 

4. I get in trouble on the daily. We get emails home every day with "friendly reminders" such as:

 "please label every piece of your child's food" I bought these adorable labels for all of his containers but have forgotten to label is box of raisins. Does that really warrant an email home? 

"Please label every piece of your child's clothes" All of his extra clothes are labelled but sue me when I forget to label a pair of shorts he is currently wearing. 

5. It's a lot of work getting this child to go to school. Packing lunch, extra clothes, diapers, shoes, wipes, 3 sippy cups, putting SPF on before leaves, eating breakfast before he leaves, attempting to comb down his 3 major cowlicks, all before 7 is a marathon. 

6. They are ruining naps for us. I've worked hard at things before. I rocked grad school, ran a half marathon, consistently had 2 or more jobs my adult life but never have I worked harder than to create a baller nap routine. And in 2 weeks these preschool women have destroyed it. He maybe naps an hour all day. ALL. DAY. 2 weeks ago this child was napping 3 hours a day and now he is sleeping so little and man I feel it. I've asked them what nap time is like and she says well kids are often getting up, it's hard to get it dark in here and we play music. I wanted to smack her in the face. Do you nap well when you're attempting to take a nap in a subway station because that's basically what you've described for me. 

7. And the biggest one.. Austin doesn't seem to be liking it :( This is why Philip and I are the most unhappy. It's only been a little over two weeks and I'm going to give it a month before I make some big education statement. (I may finally pull the "I'm a teacher" card. I've been saving it.) All but one day he has been crying when I go to pick him up. He's been standing alone either in a corner or by the door crying. I realize there are 12 kids but it's frustrating that not once has a teacher been comforting him, etc. I don't know what to think about it. I try to think maybe they just gave him a hug and then another student needed something. I realize they can't hold him all day and I don't want them to but it's hard picturing your child upset all day. (and paying an unearthly amount of money for it!) 

It's just got to get better, right? Whenever I'm feeling down I think of some songs (usually from musicals, obvi) that help me out. 

I'm thinking a cross between "The Sun Will Come out" from Annie paired with "I have Confidence" from Sound of Music might just do the trick. Luckily Austin loves "bu-zik" (and if any of those no napping/eating/loving teachers correct this they best run for the hills) so maybe this will help!

How could you not like this kid?

18 month pictures

He loves sweeping and swiffering so we "play" this all the time. I'd like to point out he voluntarily put on his sunglasses and this picture and the one below were all taken before 8 AM on Sunday. 

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne. 

new school year.. for both of us!

Summer does what it always does and just ended when I was really starting to get the hang of it.  I mean I was really loving it. Not every minute, but man was I getting used to it. Then August came around. Did I just blink? I swear it was May 5 seconds ago. I got so used to our little summer routine the first Tuesday back I seriously got all teary eyed thinking of how we were missing story time. During the summer I saw another teacher I work with at story time weekly and when we returned to work I told her how much I was missing all of that fun kid stuff and she looked at me as if I were unstable and told me I could come to her room and she would read to me if it was that big of a problem. I decided it was time to put my big girl panties on and accept the school year had started. 

So anyway. I went back to school and like always my room was insane. No air, construction madness and so so so so so much dust. I had to go back to work a week before Austin started preschool so thankfully my MIL was able to watch Austin. I also had some amazing help that came to my room and cleaned gross construction dust, took down temporary walls that the construction crew just left for me (hey, thanks!) and all kinds of other nastiness. It takes a village. Thank God they came because I spent every possible moment working on my room I would have never finished without them. Even with all their help I was so behind on preparing music and all the actual.. you know TEACHING stuff I should have been preparing for! 

Loved this welcome back present! 

This was just one of my surprise gems and this picture doesn't show the real deal. There was wood up to the ceiling and huge platforms we had to take apart to get out because they wedged them behind my piano.Every time I removed a piece of plastic gallons of dust "snowed" and made this allergy ridden nerd a disaster. They also broke one of the legs off of this piano and apparently threw it away. 

I never start the year without thinking so much of my Mom. I can picture her on the floor sorting through the hundreds of pieces of music that had been collecting for years. 

I can't get over how differently my room looks now. We worked FOREVER on this music. I swear this wasn't even a percent of it!

Anyway school started for me AND Austin. We have been pretty nervous/excited about this new stage. We were so happy with our arrangement last year but I thought he was needing some social interaction with other kids his age. I toured many "schools" (they get really upset if you call it a daycare fyi) and this one I felt really good about. I didn't realize how lucky I had been being able to set his schedule and keep him in our little bubble for so long. 

I got his shirt made by our sweet friend Libby a few weeks ago and couldn't wait for him to wear it on the first day of school. You would have thought this kid was going to boot camp with all the preparations that went into his "school". 

This was literally one of the hardest days of being a Mom so far. I love my job but as I left my house at 5:45 before anyone else is up knowing I would not see my buddy before such a big day I hated everything about teaching. I felt so sorry for myself that I was teaching other people's kids while missing out on my own child's big milestones. Then I got to work and literally. nothing. worked. My lights did not work (oh, they still don't. we've been having rehearsals using our cellphones as flashlights) the air was not on, my projector motor quit, the printers were not working. After over an hour of being at work I had not accomplished one single thing. I was LIVID. Finally some students walked in and I realized I'd better stop screaming profanity at all things technology and go with it. 

I turned it on, taught my little heart out while in the dark but vowed to change some stuff. I heard another arts teacher say one time you hopefully teach students for 4 years but you're a parent for the rest of your life and I need to start living it. 

Anyway, Austin did well for his first day. He surprisingly did not cry and Philip was able to slip out without him noticing. He also did not eat well and threw most of his food on the floor. He refused to sit in the chairs and was determined to play with toys instead. I've heard preacher's kids are always the worst but I guess teacher's kids maybe come in a close second :) 

The school sends picture updates and emails daily and these are the pictures we got on the first day. 

He doesn't look exceptionally happy but not crying so I guess I'll take it! I usually try to not let him have his pacifier all day and only give it to him during naps or in the car but his teachers said he was determined to keep it and his lovely with him at all times. I feel okay with it for now because I know it's giving him some sense of security. 

After I picked him up I did what any guilty feeling mother does. Gives her child dessert before dinner. 

(I fed him because I didn't want to get his cute shirt dirty, which we did anyway) 

I decided he needed a first day treat so we went to Sweet Ce Ce's. I know he wasn't perfect but I didn't get a call asking to come pick him up so I'm going to call that a success. 

Afterwards he rewarded me with throwing all of his food on the floor because he wasn't hungry because someone fed him Sweet CeCe's before dinner. Who does that? He hasn't napped well at school and by dinner time we are pretty close to epic meltdown mania so I just do whatever to get him through.

The second day was much harder for Philip because now Austin gets it and clung to his leg while he was leaving. His teachers said he was eating a little better and sat at the table some. Baby steps. 

Adjustments are always hard on all of us. I recently started thinking about how much preschool was challenging for us. I can't imagine anything else. Kindergarten? College? How do parents survive? By that point I'll either be clawing at the classroom attempting to get in to "help" or curled in a fetal position crying so hard that I get alien eye (you know, that extra layer or swollen skin after you've cried really hard) but most likely both.  For now I'm happy living in my little world of denial where Austin is forever my baby who enjoys being tickled, playing chase, reading, and is genuinely excited to see us when we get home. 

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne. 

Ann Marie's Bachelorette Party!

We did do a few things this summer that were not all about Austin. I hosted Ann Marie's Bachelorette party in June. On Friday night we went to Arrington Vineyard. It was a very mild night and it was just about perfect. It wasn't over crowded, not too hot and very chill. We feasted on a nice picnic and enjoyed 3 hours of wine and friends. After we went to downtown Franklin and I showed the girls the quaintness of the Franklin. 

Saturday we went and hiking around Radnor Lake and then got ready for the evening festivities. We started off at Pinewood Social, ate at The Southern and then to a piano bar and finally karaoke. 

I'd say having the entire bar cheering you on while singing to Celine Dion equals a success! 

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne. 

hellllloooooooo

Hello. God? (cue Madonna "life is a mystery..") 

It's been well an entire summer. I can't say too much. We've been home the entire summer. Oh yeah, I've been home with a toddler an entire summer so yeah I can say much. He's gone down to one nap (I realize to those without kids this is a really boring and pathetic statement but just know surviving phasing the nap is box wine worthy) and I have even less free time. The afternoon nap is saved for showering (and then putting back on work out clothes. I've worn clothes with a legit waist approximately 3 times) cleaning, doing some kind of household project (oh yeah, we moved!) and then before you know it, little boy is awake and ready to GO! Gone are the days of the post nap snuggle. He wakes up ready to run and get into everything. possible. It has probably been my most favorite summer since the summer of '97 when I lived in Indian Point and we snuck out of Emily Jackson's house nightly to walk around. Seriously. That's all we did. We thought we were all so cool sneaking out but we would just walk around the neighborhood or occasionally the park. 

I never thought I would want to be a SAHM (stay at home Mom, I remember not knowing the lingo and thinking people were weird who used it) but I've really enjoyed it and am honestly dreading going back. It is a ton of work and I would never want to not work entirely but I've been super grateful to be at home and to get to experience a lot of fun things with my boy! 

I think I'm just going to do a photo dump for the next few posts and pretend I'm writing. 

We played outside a lot! Despite having some major seasonal allergies (which I may add I'm really hacked off about. All these breastfeeding fanatics lead you to believe that your child will not have allergies, ear infections or any other illness so I dragged that pump all over creation and gave him "liquid gold" until almost 14 months and he has terrible, terrible, terrible allergies. Please spare me the "he would have had it worse if you didn't" because frankly I don't believe you) we have played outside almost every day. We've had a pretty mild summer minus some weeks here and there and really enjoyed it. (thanks polar vortex! muah) 

We got Dad a new grill for Father's Day since we had to leave our other one at the old house and Austin started earning his keep by grilling dinner 3x a week. I don't get the no pants thing but I try not to interrupt an "artist". 

 

 

We went to the park a lot. I mean really a lot. 4-5 times a week. If we didn't have other plans, I walked every morning around 8 and then he would play on the playground after for 30-45 minutes. He's gotten quite brave and attempts to do everything bigger kids do. Cute and terrifying. One of the biggest gifts of this summer has been able to see things in the eyes of a kid! The littlest things are so exciting to him. It really has been so fun!

 

We got to play a lot with friends which was so fun! I wish I had been better about taking pictures. I love that my friend's kids will be friends :) so sweet!

One day I was feeling guilty because all we were doing was running errands so I made a unplanned pit stop at Sweet Cee Cee's and this kid was in Heaven!

We went to story time every week, sometimes 3x a week. He really loves it. Not so much the sitting still and listening part, but he really likes the singing and LOVES the tree in the library. I think he would hang out in that tunnel  all summer if we let him! 

I cannot believe I'm about actually write about going to Walmart but I suppose I should go ahead and fit that typical south stereotype! We spent the most epic 2 hours in Walmart. Philip thought it wouldn't take that long to get an oil change I desperately needed so we took it there. Good Lord, 2 hours with a toddler makes you do crazy things. We played in the toy isles, sang songs, looked at bikes, and we still had an hour to go. I've been trying my best to not do processed foods with him but when some random women came over the intercom  and said, "today is national donut day, please enjoy one free donut at the bakery" we were the first in line. 

Even let the donut touch the table. He loved every single bite and made this cute little "ooooo" after each taste. He was in Heaven. We also sat and played with the car games in the arcade that were all broken but he really just love playing with the steering wheel. I swear he might have had more fun at Walmart than anywhere else we went during the summer. I've failed as a Mother.

LOTS of peek a boo!

We went swimming a lot. He didn't love it as much as last year. He would get frustrated by what he couldn't do. He would watch someone else go under the water and then try to do it and get frustrated. Maybe I should have gotten him in lessons. 

Austin got his first hair cut. This was as happy as I could get him. Not really feeling it. 

We went to car shows! (best Mom/Wife ever, nah, me?!?!) 

For some reason I thought I was crafty and I attempted some craft projects. Approximately 3 % of them turned out and approximately 97 % of them were eaten. 

Family time! Uncle Ben came home twice for weddings.

 



 

It has been such a nice summer at home with my little rug rat! I'm so thankful I get this time off with him. Every minute has not been easy or enjoyable to be honest but the overall experience is priceless. I'm never happier than I am being a Mommy! 

 

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.