Thursday, June 17, 2010

Five Hundred Twenty five thousand Six Hundred Minutes....

The cast of Rent said it best...how do you measure a year? OMG. A year... really, a year? I know. Honestly I stopped blogging because I was job searching but I then did not pick it back up because well, no good reason. Life got crazy and then all the sudden I am MARRIED, I live in Tennessee and yes a year has passed. What happened?!?! Well I'll try to recap with one of the most important things first...(shout out to Rbert for starting this all up...when her's and Whit's are up I'll pass it along b/c it will be so hot right now)


What will be first? Marriage? The 2 moves? New job? No. SUMMER OF BRAVO. Omg, Bravo has exploded! I feel like that network is taking over my life, my dvr and my vernacular. If you're a close friend then we all speak Bravo and Ramona eyes and satchels of gold are obvis. Right now we're (and Philip is included in the we only b/c he is bound to me by the state) are enjoying the craziness of the 3-part NYC Reunion, New Jersey, Kathy Griffin, and Bethenny Getting Married. With my commitment to Bravo one could reasonably wonder how I able to still communicate w/ family and friends but I somehow make it work. I'm pretty much a single mother raising 3 kids w/ no help but my kids are the tv shows, ugh God help us all. Kelly and Danielle are certifiable in the padded cell kind of way. I like the Manzos and Bethenny Frankel the most. I feel like the women are all repeating the same mistakes...obviously they need a guide book...who else should write it other than the most devoted Bravo watcher ever?~?~ ME

Step 1. DON'T SING.....I repeat DON'T SING. How could they all not have learned after the distaster (although she did sell quite a few ring tones but I think it was more of a joke than anything else) of Kim V (pictured left) of RHWof Atlanta...Don't be tardy for the party. Someone as "classy" as the countess LuAnn (pictured right) should have known her manly vocals (and I use that term soooo loosely) would never top the charts but she did it anyway. Although she was right and Money can't buy you class, it also can't buy you a good singing voice. (ouch) And NOW Queen Crazy Danielle (pictured left) is debuting her duet (no, not that tape, a real musical duet...) and the good Lord only knows what will come out of that mess. So really, you all became famous because you spend other people's money well (exception Bethenny, Ramona, Vicky (OC) ) stick to what you know and if you must branch out hire a ghost writer like the rest of the world and do some more yoga. Singing is talent and a skill, not a new career you can pick up like a Santa's helper job at Macy's while you're home for the holidays. ugh. Check Spelling


Step 2: Remember what kind of celebrity you are. Yes, people know you now and you are provided w/ all kind of new gigs, but remember you are on the lower end of the celebrity scale (just deal, its true) and don't go getting too big for your britches! I think that's some of the reason for all of the Jill (NYC) backlash this year. There are no emmys for Housewives drama and enjoy the ride while you got it. The Diva attitude is totally accepted from Juilia Roberts, Oprah, and Donald Trump, etc... but a reality show on Bravo? Nope.



Step 3: Everyone always gets skinny after the first season b/c the camera adds 10lbs. If you get this gig go ahead and give up carbs, sugar, alcohol and your life and get into that size 2 dress. Nothing tastes as good as skinny.



I could go on and on but then it might prevent good tv so I'll stop. Basically it's a lot easier to judge from behind my laptop but this is my "service" (ie.totally free and not read) to the public and they are making beaucoup bucks for their "trials" so go get 'em ladies!




In other news, we had an INSANE year full of good, bad, happy, sad moments that I won't even attempt to go over but yes, we did get married and we were soooo lucky to have so many amazing friends and family come in for our blessed party I mean wedding. It was everything we wanted and it made me sad all my friends and family live so far apart b/c having all my worlds colliding together for one weekend was pure bliss :)




Stay tuned for:


*How we've become real adults (at least kind of and mainly I just try to fool people)



*Updates on the family


*Weekend update and much, much more.



I hope everyone has a wonderful Friday and somehow makes an early start to their weekend! For Natalie's News this has been long lost, Natalie-Corinne.

3 comments:

RBert said...

LOVES it.

Andy Cohen and I are elated that natalie's news has returned.

i love bethenny/the manzos for life and teresa's hairline is sooooo creepy.

michelle said...

I want to:
a. Eat dinner at the Manzo's house
b. Spank Teresa's kids and take away all their hairbows and accessories
c. Put pajamas on Dina's hairless cat!
d. Drink wine with Jacqueline:)
e. Put Danielle and that creepy Danny in for 11-29 cleaning toilets.

Natalie Corinne said...

Rebecca, Mazal for being wonderful and the only person who comments on my blog. Michelle I totally agree w/ everything you said and believe Bravo may have bitten off more than they can chew w/ this cray cray.