bravo

It's no secret that I have a slightly unhealthy obsession with Bravo. I literally believe "if only" Andy and I would just meet, we could be bff and I would laugh in his exclusive 10 member audience during Watch what happens and maybe even be the bartender. I've been a fan for years and even when I get sick of shows (pretty much all the housewives franchises) I still hold on because that's what loyalty is. 

I also share this obsession egh loyalty with Kimmie. We both share the love/hate relationships with the housewives and she is the only person that I feel comfortable watching episodes while live tweeting and not feel embarrassed. (although maybe I should) She was even present when I shamefully tweeted Aviva (if you have to ask, you'll never know) and she tweeted back!! 

Okay, this is so embarrassing. It's true Aviva the diva did act so ridiculous on this episode. You might remember she "conquered her fear" and flew to this beautiful island paradise. Life is so hard for some. But the real loser was me, actually tweeting her and then giving her "props" for owing her behavior. I mean, who does that? Me apparently. I'm going to blame pregnancy hormones. 

Anyway, Kimmie bought Austin a Bravo onesie a while ago. It is a 6 month onesie and our big boy fits it. Another moment where I am saddened about how big he is getting :( 

Anyway, one of my biggest/saddest goals in life is to get favored or even retweeted by Andy and I thought there would be no better way than posting an adorbs picture of my little boy sporting Bravo merch. Truth be told, I am a tad hesitant of this because that means weird folks would look at my baby, but I will deal with this if it happens. Austin was wiggly as usual so getting a picture was difficult. I need your help deciding which one to tweet! Since I'm a sorority girl, I'm going to pro/con each pic.

Pro: can see the Mazel AND Romona merch well. (SPECIAL thanks to my lil sis Rebecca for this AUTOGRAPHED bottle! She stood in line and met Ramona in Houston last summer. Rebecca said she is very pretty in person. Anyway, she kept it last summer when I was expecting so I wouldn't be tempted and surprised me with it this summer. There's no way I would drink this gem though. I'm only a step away from putting it the family safe. 

Same as above.

Pro: it's hilarious

con: you can't see the onesie or the wine, and I'm afraid child protective services might show up. 

Pro: baby looks tipsy

Con: baby looks tipsy

Pro: UMMM turtle time, wine, AND onesie?!?!

Con: Not smiling and the pacifier (and if you're someone who is anti-pacifier reading this, go ahead and refrain from commenting. I don't care) 

Pro: LOOK AT THAT SMILE

Con: no other merch and weird angle. 

What do you think?!?! 

The future friendship between me and Andy depends on this decision. No pressure. 

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne. 

Everybody cut Footloose!

"Footloose" is THIS weekend. (woot woot, hello famous!) I am so excited for the kids and so proud of their hard work. I'm also really excited to have a few less 14 hour days, a bit more time with my hubby, family, and friends and embarrassingly...catch up on my tv..specifically...you know. My love, Andy Cohen. This separation is legit this time and I'm afraid we might not make it.



Soon we will be reunited... (and it feels so good!)

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.

email black out

Today I had one of those 12 hour days that needed more work to be done at home. (this is a true statement, please tell your politicians and friends who think we just "show up" and hang out...k, thanks). Earlier I sent about a million emails that just had to get answered yesterday.

Then crisis in Franklin occurred. Something with the end of the Mayan calendar created a black out that ruined my work email.

After about 20 attempts I realized, omg. There are other things I could be doing. Like...blogs, pinterest, personal email, facebook...BRAVO.

Hello, lover. I've missed you. Let's get to a breakdown.

Lisa has become a total escape goat. These girls are all the same. They all love the confident one in the first season but if she becomes a little more confident or (gasp!) popular than them she becomes obsessed with herself, phony, toxic or some other generic term. I love how they all continue blaming her foreign culture for her curt behavior. Like being English is some undiscovered existence that we are still waiting research for. Team Lisa.

Next I watched Atlanta..And then all this insanity happened....

If you're not in on the drama, the lovely ladies of Atlanta traveled to South Africa for a beautiful vacation where they began acting like total crazies and resulted in speaking in some high pitched tongues. Prior to the total breakdown in all things civil the ladies attempted to out "bag" each other and brought literally 30 plus bags a person and then acted surprised when they had trouble getting them out of the airport. I hate stereotypes of Americans but when I saw this I could see why lots of folks think we are totally out of it. Finally after a good "let's all love each other speech" two ladies, the newly ghetto transformed after reading an etiquette book and loves to talk about it, Marlo (go to that link and check out the rap sheets...squeal/love) and Sheree (of former fame, She by Sheree) begin fighting as if someone has just hurt their Momma.  I love a good drama in a reality show but honestly, this was too much. Seriously? I kept watching thinking, is this really happening? You know you're in trouble when NeNe seems to be the sane one. All I know is that I could not hang with these girls because I don't have a rolex, I am not nice/nasty, and my voice does not produce that high of a squeal.

My femi side wants to boycott these shows because it's such an awful portrayal of women but my loves good entertainment no matter the quality or detriment of society side loves a trashy reality show even more.

Thanks, Andy!

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.

Welcome back....

My friends are back...



Thank God my favorite television family is back.  I feel like my long lost friends were lost at sea and now they've finally been found. So many things have changed...Lillie grew 3 years in a summer, Luke is no longer a little boy, and Dylan is staying on the ranch? All I know is that he better make some sort of appearance singing another ridiculous song. asap.

Then, The Office. I was so afraid of what would happen when Michael was gone and all the drama of last season. Omg, what has happened?! Two folks are preggers, Andy is the boss?

 Still not sure what I think but thank God they're all back.

The verdict is still out on Whitney

I thought it would be funny but it has a laugh track and even says, "this episode was filmed in front of a live studio audience" a la Crosby show. I realize Will and Grace was also filmed in front of a live studio audience but their audience seemed a bit more realistic in their laughing. Whitney's audience was awkward and I couldn't get past it. 

All I know is that I'm glad that my regular "friends" (that is sick, right?) are back. I mean, reality and bravo are AMAZING but sometimes it is nice to watch scripted television and pretend your life and friends are that witty. Obvi.

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.





the countess

After watching a phenomenal preview for RHWONJ and seeing yet another housewife "make it big" with her singing debut, I was overjoyed!

"Oh, I can't wait, I love a good housewife song" Me

"Has there ever been a really successful one?" P

"No, but I really, really love their effort" Me

"Money can't buy you class, Natalie" P

Perhaps we do watch too much Bravo.

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne. 

The Rachel Zoe Project Season 4 - Go Ba-na-nas for the 4th Time! - Video - Bravo TV Official Site

The Rachel Zoe Project Season 4 - Go Ba-na-nas for the 4th Time! - Video - Bravo TV Official Site

Okay, I like a good guilty pleasure and I realize this woman is preggers but doesn't it always seem like she is always talking about working, but rarely ever really...working, just a whole lot of talk about how hard life is when there are a million assistants around all the time and apparently she has the time to over analyze every. single. thought, decision, commercial, etc that flutters through her head. Just when I think ugh, you know I'll totally be watching and driving P Ba-na-nas.

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne. 

addiction

It's a full on, real deal, may need some sort of professional help when I attempt to plan my gym visits around Bravo's prime time so I can watch the television on the treadmill right? Even though it gives me motion sickness but I don't really care because I want to see some housewives drama that badly? That's crazy, right? Whatever, I can quit whenever I want. Just not ready yet.

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.

Oxford celebrities

Remember when I posted about that chef that I knew (had seen before) and he was on Top Chef Masters? No? Here it is. Well, anyway, I was reading Best of Oxford in the Oxford Eagle and although old John may have lost out early with Bravo, he ate up the entire town of Oxford and all the awards. His restaurants really are amazing and although winning "best of" in the Oxford Eagle may not be as prestigious as winning Top Chef, he's still all the rage in Oxford, and really...that's the most important place on earth anyway. I loved browsing through all of the names of places and people and reminiscing about my former home. As I continued looking (stalking) around the Best of's, I was thrilled to see my friend Ashley Hewett's (pictured far right with myself and the lovely Whitney at my bachelorette party/double decker weekend last year on the beautiful square in Oxford, MS) charity event, Paws for Art, named the best charitable event in Oxford! How exciting! I immediately text Ashley and she had not even seen yet! Ashley and her fiance Kevin were in town for a wedding just a few weeks ago and we had such a great time catching up with them and hearing all about her new job at the Humane society and BAM, she's already won an award. Congrats! While I recognized a lot of people and places (including my sorority sister who won most eligible bachelorette) in some ways I was a tad bit sad because there were new places I did not know and I realized things always keep moving and even my little Heaven of Oxford will grow up and change with out me. Hotty Toddy!

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.

I try not to think about what might have been...

(the picture is of the band Little Texas who sings "What might have been" thus the title of this blog post...I talk about it later but for those of us who never read all of any one's blog, here's the spoiler) Really? I know. It's been 2 weeks. 2 extremely busy, running around like a chicken with out a head 2 weeks. I honestly don't really know how to begin. My work has been controlling a lot of my life...one would think after the big bad standardized test we could slow down, but oh no! I'm teaching a song in Mandarin (with... recorders! Ugh..remind me again why I cannot have an IV of wine with me all the time?) , putting on a play that one of my classes wrote, teaching a Civil War Rap that will be performed very soon, organizing the music for 8th grade celebration, going on a million MUST go, end of the year "learning expeditions" (field trip is sooo 2008) selling and creating our video yearbook (another hilarious facade that this time I didn't even attempt to create... somehow people think I know anything about technology, which is hilarious b/c at times I can't turn on our tv) and completing mountains of paperwork. In between that time we had a wonderful visit from the Bacurins and Kempers, Kelly in town, celebrated my parent's 30th anniversary, and Mother's day for Mom and Sharon. So yes, this brings me to a big ol' blog regret. Huge missed opportunities of harsh judgement, well deserved praise, or just observations. I missed Mother's day, my parent's anniversary, Real Housewives of New York City debut. Simon performing " I am Real" at the Bravo clubhouse (ummm it's official, I can die happy) I'm going to try to add some late posts just like those things just happened but it will never be the same. At times like this one can only rely on forgotten band Little Texas for some sad country song healing...

I try not to think about what might have been...

(if you go and watch the video...can you believe his hair? It was 1995 not the 80s...Oh and I love how dramatic country videos are, just a step above reenacted crime scenes on Lifetime!)

Happy Saturday! For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.

Silax

When I thought the crazies at Bravo couldn't do more Silax (Simon+Alex) just produced perhaps the best song we will all love to hate. Really, it's time. The Countess and Kim aren't enough anymore. The other seasons have tried but I can't even remember how their songs sound and we are tired of the rich housewife in the studio scene. The only logical solution would obviously be.. a house husband, I can think of no one better that Simon. Since we are facebook friends (no, we really are, I am the ultimate stalker and try to be "real" friends not the lame fans with people when they are in their first few seconds of their fifteen minutes of fame. Praise God I did this with Simon so I am constantly updated with their Brooklyn antics) I don't want to give him too much grief, but he knows it's all done with love. Simon's song "I am Real" contains all the elements that a house husband song needs. First the delusion that every housewife wants to be with him but then goes behind his rainbow sequined back to trash him on their twitter. Secondly, the bumpin' dance track and leather pants in his single pic is sure to squash any of those pesky gay rumors. Lastly, I'm glad Simon chose to remind us that in fact he is a real person, and not a robot or hologram so many other "celebrities" (oh another favorite part of the song, when he refers to himself as a celebrity) are using, which we all know is just plain lazy. Thank you Simon for keeping yourself real. Now if we could only get a Bravo summer tour in the works, my life would be complete. With all of the "singles" stars the concert would maybe make it a whopping 30 minutes but I would so attend.

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.

Top Chef Masters... I know him.. (have seen him before)

So I always watch almost every single thing Bravo produces...even if I don't think I will like it, I support that station like the a misfit child that I just know is so misunderstood and will make it with his (ha, I love that I imagine my failure child as a male..inner femi cannot be suppressed) next very expensive major, business adventure, new website, selling knives, stint in Canada planting trees, whatever. Let's just say, I have a weird bond with Bravo and I feel a insane loyalty that I probably should just shut up about because frankly I've had some wine. Anyway, so of course when Top Check Masters was up for it's second season, I dutifully set my DVR for the Wednesday night masterpiece. Really, that's not true. I enjoy Top Chef but it's one of those kind of shows that I can easily check email during, not like I have to devote my time to, like Modern family aka the best show on tv. So anyway, I started watching Top Check Masters right after Top Check All Stars and OMG who is on it? John Currence from my beautiful town of Oxford. I was SO excited to see him and know that I have actually seen him, like in person in Oxford. I mean I know I'm kind of a big deal in my own head but now I know someone who is on my mecca of networks...bravo...holy. freaking. grail. So anyway, he did so well at first and tonight? He flipping gets eliminated. First of all, the girl who has done two terrible desserts two weeks in a row should have gone home, and secondly, ugh... I no longer can feel pompous about reality television. Now you can understand the wine. He really had no business being sent home and I would tell the king of Bravo himself Andy Cohen that he was dead wrong!

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.

I really love your kid...

Listen...I did't get all dressed up and hire a babysitter to hear about your kid's poop..

but please spare the talk about his/her poop. I am almost afraid to post this PSA because I believe it is so frowned upon to "provide helpful guidance" (umm hummm give unwanted parenting advice from someone who has no experience parenting), especially when that subject requires the parents to censure their talk about the baby. Please don't get me wrong; I love seeing my friend's kids. I kind of flipped out when my first close friend announced she was expecting and had a slight panic attack in the back seat of her car (really supportive friend) but now I am genuinely happy for my friends and enjoying stalking facebook pic of their cute little ones and hearing about all the firsts... well maybe not all their firsts! At first I thought it was just me. We are coming to that point in our life where people have...BABIES. Lots and lots of babies. Last year our fridge was covered with wedding invitations and this year the invitations have been replaced with baby announcements. The vast majority of my friends make motherhood look too easy honestly. Most of them area already skinnier than me (again) and seem to be too cool with their designer diaper bags that don't even look like diaper bags. Then...there are the slight few (obvi you are not one of them) that think for some God known reason that I am interested in their kid's poop/problems with pooping/accidents/etc. I mean some stories about a boy peeing on the dad's face are kind of funny but it is a slippery slope. So anyway, I thought I was the only one with this "problem" but oh no. I went to happy hour with a friend this weekend and she brought up how a lady in her supper club ALWAYS TALKED ABOUT HER KID'S POOP! Wtf? At supper club? Omg, where is the countess, elegance has not been learned. My friend said the lady will go on and on about sickness in the potty, or nasty cold and what color snot is etc. And then talks about needing an outlet so she won't just talk about her kid's production of waste but hello? All she talks about is her kid's nastiness! My friend was brave enough to attempt to change the subject suggesting they talk about something more appealing at dinner and she was served a huge dose of the Mom shame. What is Mom shame? It goes a little something like this, "oh, you'll totally understand when you're a Mom". Ouch. Maybe she is right. Maybe I will one day be able to write a dissertation about the different colors, textures, smells and stain qualities of baby waste. Maybe I will rent bill boards educating the USA about how corn can disturb the toddler's digestion system. (totally just made that one up) But I'm gonna bet that I won't. Perhaps we sans kids will learn more about the never ending grossness that comes out of little ones but I pray to all things Holy that I won't rant to anyone about it unless they are a medical professional! I don't really know what the answer is. I guess if poop, snot etc where my normal I would want to complain about them too, and I don't want my friends with kids to no longer talk to me... but then again, I want us to still act like adults... well not like real adults... I mean adults that like to drink wine, watch too much Bravo, cuss, stay up too late, stalk blogs and pretend to be well-read, listen to pop music, and play on facebook...you know, normal.

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.

party in the city where the heat is on...

Andy and the goddesses of Bravo created yet another Housewives series filled with winos, wannabe models, and gallons of botox. Every time they come out with another city I swear I won't watch but somehow the magic of Bravo sucks me in and I am totally hooked. Although I don't think this will be my favorite of the housewives series, I find it necessary to inform the faithful readers of my careful critique and obviously go back to my sorority days and use some Robert's rules of order to ensure fairness.
Pro: Latinas! I love the Latin flavor. Everyone is Cuban, gorgeous, proud, and just the ever so slightest loud and tacky (but in the best way possible). The ladies, their clothes, houses, jewelry and lives are so over the top and cray.

Con: Fake drama. It seems like these ladies need more going on. I know some have jobs and families etc but a lot of the episode seems like they were trying to make drama out of nothing. It also seems like they don't really know each other all that well. It also seems like they are big ol' drunky drunks but that's okay if you're rich.

Con: Really out of control, redic plastic surgery fails. Okay, so I don't usually like the fail bandwagon (especially now that Andy (umm hello Cohen) says he doesn't like it either, good Lord, we need to be friends yesterday, for both of our sakes) but there is no other way to describe some of the non-expression expressions these ladies "provide". While I'm not trying to see holier than though because I am not at all above getting some kind of enhancement if it looks natural and I can do it when no one can ever finds out and I can deny it forever. But when your face looks like some plastic and flammable mask only appropriate on Halloween you know one has a serious problem. Seriously some of these women have passed Joan Rivers and on their way to Michael Jackson. (too soon?)
Pro: Miami. I'm glad they picked this city. Different from any other city and I was getting sick of ghetto drama and nasally yankees. Perfect change and a fab inspiration for pre-summer dieting. Then it reminded me of one of the best trips ever with my great Ole Miss friends! Memories...

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.

new friends

You know a television show is really good when you can almost believe that you are friends with some of the characters. I mean I'm not insane. I know that these people are not real and they are characters but they are so witty, believable, hilarious, whatever that scarily you begin identifying with them, missing them...loving them... Not at the stalker stage yet but here are some "new friends".

Jim and Pam. I really think we could be couple friends with Jim and Pam. I once had a dream that we were all friends and I woke up sooooo happy. They are young, smart, and fun and I can so see us being the best of buds. Repeat...they are not real they are not real, they are not real.

Cameron!!! OMG. Obsessed with this man. He is hilarious and I can sickly picture (dream) of us being the best of friends. What is there NOT to love? We would sing show tunes, go shopping, love Asian babies...perfect pair, obvi.

Obviously the one and only Andy Cohen. Perhaps not as crazy because at least he is a real person but of on the other hand, this makes my belief that we are friends even worse because I feel like I know him even more. Since Andy isn't faking his personality we are even better friends. Once again we would be besties, mazel.

Well as I just read this I decided that I am totally insane. I'm off to check myself into rehab...oh! Maybe I could meet a star there..

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.

number 9...so fine...

Obviously two days in a row were enough for Metro...

The snow gods smiled down on this exhausted teacher and provided the perfect amount of snow for everyone to be happy. Nashville only got around an inch and honestly most streets are fine...this means I am off, can go play, and folks who do not get adult snow days can still drive into to work.

At this point we are way over a snow allotment so being the dedicated educator that I am one would think I would be wishing for near perfect weather so we would not miss another minute of opportunity to educate our future leaders....then you would wake up. Now I'm all about the most snow possible. In high school we got 13 snow days and it was declared a natural disaster and we did not have to make up any and that's what I'm hoping for now...

So what to do on my wonderful day off...yes of course coffee, cleaned for literally one minute, and watching ridiculous television...which is where I saw my fav Beverly Hills Housewife Kyle on Regis and Kelly (where Regis never comes anymore) I love Kyle but omg, she committed a huge fashion mistake... Everyone knows that the set of Regis and Kelly has those awkward chairs (pictured above left...not Kyle but you get the idea...they are tall and you have to basically jump onto the chairs...awkward) and Kyle wore...spanx...and even worse, she crossed her legs, multiple times and flashed those ugly bike shorts/torture chamber. Kyle is not the only star who has suffered the ugly unwelcomed flash of the spanx.

Above is a pretty pic of Kyle. I thought she probably already feels enough embarrassment from flashing her spanx on national television that she did not need it revealed again... plus I couldn't find it.

Above is Katy Perry in not such a teenage dream moment.

This one is a hard one to pull off...getting out of a car or out of a chair is most tricky in spanx and here is poor Eva flashing her spanx.

Everyone knows how much I love this Bravo big shot yet, here she flashes her spanx at New York Fashion week last year. This question is bizarre to me because why would you wear spanx when you're preggers? I guess you always want to be skinny...

Of course I have never worn spanx... oh sorry I'm back, lightening just struck our house and I was on fire... okay so perhaps I have worn spanx in the past...but whatever. These cheap tummy tucks can be give you that added boost of confidence but take a page out of the early 1900s and cross those ankles ladies! (or gentlemen too, Natalie's News judges not for the wearing of spanx)

For Natalie's News this has been a spanx-free (for today) Natalie-Corinne.

life lessons from Beverly Hills

What I've learned from the Housewives...

1. Nothing tastes as good as skinny. Tonight on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Russell (awkward) throws a birthday party for Taylor and there is so much food and none of the ladies eat anything... and they all look amazing in their dresses. You can detag a facebook pic, but you can't detag cellulite.

2. Prepare a toast! Seriously? Tonight Russell (wet noodle) gave his wife, mother of his child a toast that made me yearn for a root canal. It made my skin craw and I was sitting in Tennessee, six months later wearing my non glamorous Ole Miss sweatshirt, umm can you imagine being there? Would probably want a drink... speaking of...!!!

3. Alcohol + limos + family drama + random British guy = disaster!!! Omg, that fight was so out of control. All their business was so out in the open. Gross. Although a lot of people seem to be on team Kim I am so team Kyle. I cannot stand folks who play the victim and use others and that's what I feel that she does.. you know because I know them so well from those 44 minutes...

4. You need to be over 60 to wear multiple tight pearls. Sorry Kim, but pearl overload tonight. I think the tight pearls around the neck was plenty but then then bracelet? Hottie dress then 19th century royal jewels. Fail. (yes, I finally joined the fail bandwagon)


5. You should marry someone who likes to go to awful parties, listen to awkward toasts, and wear uncomfortable clothes. I cannot get over how many redic situations these guys suffer through all to stand next to a beautiful, plastic woman who doesn't eat. One would think perhaps the lack of food bill would be one advantage but I think the rest of the lavish lifestyle more than makes up for the skipped lunches.

6. Oh and for any of these rules to apply to anyone make a billion dollars and move to Beverly Hills, perhaps this should have been rule 1?

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.

Bravo breakdown

Who are you kidding? We can play like we all watch the news or other "adult" programs but if we've all got to have something. Sure Bravo is probably the most shallow network in existence but when you listen to NPR to and from work, read all kinds of news blogs, television is this sacred place where people only judge on appearance and where six figure incomes are comparable to those living on government cheese, you know, reality television. One new fun addition to the new pad is at&t uverse. Although occasionally the uverse freezes, I have been happy with the change from the evil, child laboring, endangered species killing, non recycling, company known as...comcast. (dum dum dum) Now it is even EASIER to fast forward commercials and watch hours of "reality" television. Because of the move last week Bravo and I had major separation anxiety but Bravo and I made new commitment vows to one another and are right on track to make at least a silver anniversary... (and with all the gays if I don't get something fab America will know) Following my duty as an avid Bravo fan I watched The Collection (not even really my favorite, but I watched to see if Rachel Zoe looked preggers...NOPE), Top Chef All Stars, Millionaire Matchmaker and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. So much important things (bwhahahah) have happened I don't even know if I can respond to all of it but if you're not watching... we should probably defriend on facebook... it's that serious.

For Natalie's news this has been Natalie-Corinne.