Atkins assault

Is there anything truly better than freshly baked, carb-loaded, jiggle producing bread? The correct answer is no. Bread (also referred to as manna pictured right) is by far my favorite meal. (yes, I said meal on purpose) If I was given the daunting decision to chose between bread or chocolate or even break or wine for the rest of my life I was have to pick bread...judge if you must but bread just does it for me. I love all kinds, fresh, hard, expensive pretty kinds from bakeries or even generic hot dog buns, I'm a sucker for it all. In a perfect world I would carry baguettes out of my purse and enjoy slice after slice of bread, one after the other, potato chip style...but then there is this pesky problem of wanting to fit into my clothes. This beautiful Saturday morning I woke up (only God knows why) at 5:30am. Back in the good old days I would not have been asleep for too long but last night being the always (ie. newly today) calorie conscience I did not drink, had a light dinner and was in bed my midnight, only to be punished by the social gods for not properly rocking out a Friday night. We did not sit at home, but had a nice dinner at a pizza place with lots of fun friends. But this was far from the Friday nights of yonder year and P and I retired early to watch a romantic comedy that was of course predominately in Europe and thus this bread post. UGH. I cannot watch movies, especially romantic comedies ever, ever again. First of all, yeah we get it. Europe is beautiful. So smug the Europeans are with their lush rolling hills with castles every mile (beautiful castle pictured left), thin people, successful world cup teams, and meals unlike anything we have here. I do not understand how Europeans have time to work because their meals seem to be huge events full of passion, life, excitement, and lots and lots of bread. How are they skinny? I realize this was a movie but I've thought this many times before. So back to being up before the sun. I try to go back to sleep, turn all kinds of crazy ways in bed knowing if I just find that perfect spot I was fall blissfully back asleep but alas this never happens and I finally give in and get up. Instantly I'm hungry (annoying) and as I make my way over to the refrigerator...what tempts me? Bread. I open the cabinet just "to have a look" like a junkie just getting their one hit, I think what's one piece of bread? NO! I must stay strong. Starting off the day with a slice of bread is like attempting to lie to Oprah. (James Frey? (pictured right getting drilled by Oprah) Hear of him anymore...no, he lied to Oprah.) . I opt for some yogurt and am left unsatisfied. Again, I open the bread and just smell. OMG. It's not even freshly baked so I know that wonderful smell is due to all kinds of preservatives but if that is what preservatives are then I'm off that anti-preservative bandwagon because they smell delightful (delicious preservatives pictured left). Again, no. No bread on this beautiful, painfully early Saturday morning. I open comcast and am bombarded with pictures of beautifully thin people and think, they're not having bread for breakfast either and really nothing tastes as good as skinny...(debatable)

I hope everyone is sleeping at the moment and having a wonderful weekend. For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.