Natalie on professional development

If only introductions went something like this.

Hi, I'm a generic speaker who has little to know teaching experience but am going to lecture you for the next 2-3 hours about this new hot topic/ problem de jour, which is happening in your classroom right now even though students are not in said classrooms and you will get sued by Christmas if you do not do exactly what I say. I'm going to say things like "if you would only do this" and "it only takes a minute" to lure you in to a new revolutionary solution to all world problems. I will also throw in several "trust me guys" to prove that I know what I'm talking about but show I'm still casual and cool. Obviously, I will always suggest "further, more in depth training for best understanding" because I would like to come back and get paid some more. During this presentation with over 2,000 power point slides, I will make you form groups, make t charts, participate in embarrassing activities such as "getting to know your neighbor" soul train lines. I will ask a million questions like why is bullying a rampant problem in your school? You might think, I don't think it is a rampant problem at our school but I will prompt all questions to benefit myself, this program, and how much money we will accumulate due to this "rampant" problem. Lastly, I will share data, statistics, journal articles, and stories of how kids think and act, which obviously you know nothing about since you are with students everyday and I sit in my desk, not around kids and create endless PowerPoint presentations.

 Finally, I will ask if you have any questions and when all of you are asleep with your eyes open and fail to ask the question I want to hear, I will leave you with a "closing" story that sums up my "goal for this school" which will obviously show that your school is failing miserably in this department. I will tell you how test scores will go up, pollution and gas prices will go down, and children will no longer need braces if this school would purchase my program/curriculum/crack. I will leave you with a killer of a closing line
"the choice is yours folks...but I choose to be on the side of the kids". Obviously, if you don't agree with me, you hate children, so you will agree and beg your administration for my program, use it for a year, then I will create something new and even better and this entire process will start again.

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.

*disclaimer: I'm not saying this has anything to do with what I'm doing the next 3 days. Just a totally random observation.