I'd like to think that generally I'm an honest person. Even if I always did not want to be honest, my severely terrible skills give me away every single time. So naturally, even if I am ever tempted to lie, the option is not there. First of all, I'm not quick enough to come up with it and secondly, my delivery is worst than a 1st grader's Thanksgiving Day play. Seriously. Awful.
With that being said, I love a good massage. My students gave me a gift card to a massage place in town that has a introductory rate of one price and then if you don't join their monthly club of massages, it is out control expensive. Being a lover of massages, I have obviously gone to this place...way more than once. I will admit when I got married, I used the new name for the introductory price, and then when the establishment (which will remain nameless!) opened other franchises, I did that nonsense all over town. Well now I don't think I can pull the name change trick again. I looked up the prices and it was going to cost me a lot of extra money and since I knew there was a lower price available...I went for it.
Hello, my name is Jenny Sawyer. Yes, I created an alias solely for the purpose of getting $40.00 off a massage. Proud? No. Ashamed? No, not really. What I am though is SCARED. Yesterday my Mom and I (sorry I'm taking you down with me lady) sat in her living room creating the perfect alias name. Creating a fake name for a cheaper massage was more difficult than I thought. The name had to be something I could actually respond to and say, yes I'm "insert name here". Mom and I went back and several times and finally settled on Jenny Sawyer.
The call to the massage establishment was so awkward at best. Of course being an awful liar, I'm also an awful "prank" caller. I give her my "name" and that all goes over smoothly. The caller keeps starts every question with "Jenny, would you like..." and I"m like who is Jen..oh wait, yeah that's me. Finally she asks a question I'm not prepared for. How did you hear about "over priced massage place"? (*not real name) "ugh, ugh, you know in one of those ugh clipper magazine ads, ugh" me. Mom gives me a glaring and puzzled luck and whispers, "you got a gift card for Christmas!" saving the day.
The massage is today and I'm planning on keeping it very relaxed, casual, and quiet. I will not elaborate on anything or ask any extra questions. I will just have to remember to introduce myself as Jenny Sawyer and of course answer when they call my name!
Wish me luck!
For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne Jenny Sawyer.
4 comments:
Not Taylor Smith? :). Love you boo!
You so crazy! You obviously patterned the name after Tom Sawyer's antics and ya Momma is that mischevieous Huck Finn!
@Whitgent, I totally forgot about my first and best alias...You don't know who my father is.
@Ray...obviously I've learned ALL of this from YOU! :)
This is the best thing I have ever read. The only thing that would make it better is if you wore like a wig and/or fake moustache when you went to the massage.
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