ahh, you shouldn't have

So it's totally that time of year again, gift giving season is upon us. Yes, of course it is most definitely the thought that counts but one cannot help remembering really, really bad gifts. I got the idea for this blog from a recent e-mail Christmas survey that is making the rounds among my family and the responses made me laugh so hard and then I thought if we had never received those awful gifts, we would probably not remember them so well. My skills as an actress would not be so impeccable if every year I had not had to force a smile and a generic compliment of something like, "oh and I can wear it everywhere"..like wear it in a trash bag on it's way to good will. But seriously those bad gifts are so hilarious I thought we should pay tribute. Here goes.

Worst gifts ever:

Yes, I like to work out, but I don't appreciate getting work out videos from a guy. A FORMER boyfriend of mine gave me a set of work out videos. I remember opening the poorly wrapped videos and looking at Billy Blanks. Tears swelled in my eyes and I fought to hold back the sea that wanted to pour from my eyes. I looked at the sorry sap and said, " work out videos? Do you think I'm fat?" Stunned, baffled, and totally stupid he looked around for something to kill himself with. The fool's face turned ghostly white and he finally realized there was no easy way out. Finally he responded with, "no, no not at all. You are just always working out and you are in that aerobics class, I thought you like it". He also neglected to mention he put off shopping for me and had to go to Walmart (small town) which left him scrambling for a gift. Needless to say, that former boyfriend is not the one, and I have always hated Billy a little after.

Teacher gifts: Whenever a child hands you something wrapped your heart skips a beat and you get a lump in your throat. I immediately go into character and imagine a dead frog in the box so that whatever in there will be surprisingly better. A couple of years ago I received the "sweetest" presents from former students. One was a Santa shaped car freshener that should hang from your rear view mirror. I used to think these kind of air fresheners were reserved only for cab drivers, but rest assured they make Santa shaped ones for the regular folks. I have also received numerous ornaments, home baked goods, but the funniest was an obvious re gift from a child at church. The parents did not know my name so the gift tag said, to: choir teacher and gave me some pottery with the 1998 date on the back. Not used...retro.

Now I know my family is thinking...where is the talk about family gifts? Oh its coming, I saved the best for last. One Christmas a certain scrooge gave my brother a bumper sticker and baseball he had obviously gotten for free at a minor league baseball game. Yeah, I still remember. And then there's the angel. A glowing angel apparently on close out sale is pictured right but in no way does it do our angel justice. When one of our family members passed a couple of years ago a sweet and country family gave a glowing angel to the family. The angel is a multi-colored masterpiece that transitions from every florescent shade possible. After the funeral we all admitted that we were captivated by the angel and were in awe of her glory during the entire funeral. Now it is a tradition that someone gets the angel every year in honor of Layne and must display her proudly during the holiday season.

I could go on and on, but I would rather hear from the adoring public. What are your terrible gifts? Do you still laugh? Let me know on the message board! I hope everyone has a wonderful, safe and relaxing weekend! Go get some presents and maybe even a couple of bad ones. You'll be remembered far longer than if you give a gift card or something similar. Just a thought. For Natalie's News this has been Natalie-Corinne.