the end is near

....you know the song...now's the question? Do you feel fine? How did you spend your last night? I hope you ate that dessert, told a snobby co-worker what you really thought, kissed your crush or wore a hot outfit... because this might be your last chance. So I guess this begs the question....IS THIS MY LAST BLOG? Well, I better go out on a bang and here are some confessions/thoughts/rambles that may or may not be appropriate.

1. Every day is judgement day. Please save me the speech, we are always judging, all the time. I don't care who you are, folks judge you on everything from teeth, shoes, accents, and purses. By this account I don't know why we're so worried. Another day.

2. You folks are insane. I've heard all kind of stories about people quitting jobs, schools, spending all their money, etc. I think Congress should have passed something requiring these people to serve some kind of community service because they don't have enough to do.

3. SNL hasn't been funny for years. Not really applicable but the 4 times a year I watch it I have high hopes and am always left defeated. Tomorrow is supposed to be Justin Timberlake and I thought, "oh that will be good" but it probably won't.

4. The terminator may not be back, and we would all be happy. What a great time to "come out" as public enemy number 1...even beating out Mel Gibson. (How did I come to this conclusion? Although religious bashing is rightfully on the top of the hate/ruin your life and career list, Arnold messed with a Kennedy (insert scream here). It's about time the Kennedy curse was lifted off of our royal family and whipped it's fury all over this lame Austrian...who I might add brings much shame to the Van Trapp family!!!)

5. Back to the insane folks part. I can't think of a better way to blow a TON of money than printing millions of religious pamphlets, renting helicopters with "educational" messages of dooms day to circle my beautiful city (this really happened today and if I can just tell you that end of the year + Friday + crazy messages on a helicopter = my own rapture because I managed some kind of lobotomy. I like to call it self preservation but once the kids began flipping out about the end of the world, I told them to not worry but just to be safe I would chose a religion, take a really good shower (will they have running water? one can never know for sure) and say their last good byes just in case... in that kind of, wait is she joking or not teacher voice.) and traveling all over our amazing country just to scare people into believing it is the end of the world. This is why the world will not end. If folks knew, and I mean really knew... their crazy tails would be on a beach, in Cabo, drinking a cocktail with an umbrella, eating McDonald's and listening to embarrassing pop music. Bia, don't lie, it's true.

6. I don't care to watch Oprah's last show. Some part of me think I should care but I don't. There I said it. And Gail kind of weirds me out. Doesn't she ever get tired of the big persona of Oprah?

7. I don't like dogs. Cats are better. Now that it's on the Internet it must be true. I will feel better knowing that has been finally decided for all. Perhaps I will spread the good news... off to the helicopter...

8. The world cannot end until I meet Andy Cohen. I think you can find it in the book of Jeremiah or somewhere. Anyway, it's a fact.

9. Most of the times when I'm reading blogs, especially those with lots of pics (hey, like mine) I have to struggle to actually read. I find myself reading the first sentence and then scrolling down a lot and then thinking, wait this doesn't make sense, when I've skipped the book in between. Agh, for good measure let's blame abortion and the media. Done.

10. Love you boos. Not because the world is going to end, but I really love all four of you who have read this to the bitter, blabbing end. I will never forget you. Muah.

For Natalie's News this has been (THE LAST??!??!) Natalie-Corinne.