vogue

In the eternal quest of skinny, I broke down and joined the overpriced Y. I've been going to the rec center because it is way cheaper but they don't have classes and I can only run on the treadmill so long before wanting to throw myself through the glass windows. So, I joined the Y and being off for the summer, I have started going to day classes with the senior citizen retirees and stay-at-home Moms. With this new gym membership I was hoping to gain some muscles and lose pounds but as in most things in life I gained more than I expected! Maybe not gained...learned. Being a lifetime learner (teacher nerd!) I like to think I am observant (stalker) and what have I observed?! I am SO out of style, lame, and not with the cool kids in the gym crowd. Who are these cool kids you may ask? I present to you...the hot Mom/Grandma. Not that I am sure all of these women actually have offspring but...all I do know is that they are hot and they have a better gym wardrobe than I have just regular wardrobe. I thought I tried to keep it cool. Might throw on a color coordinated sports bra if it can be seen near my neck that matches a color on my tshirt but that is SO 2005. Today I went to spinning and yoga and was literally the only person there wearing a tshirt. Everyone was rocking their perfectly coordinated gym attire. Ugh, I mean I know I don't have to wear what everyone else is wearing and I don't consider myself a follower but I do hate that feeling that I am the dirty/not cool/poor/unstylish/suburbia failure. Here I was proud to actually be at the overpriced gym but now I need a cute, overpriced wardrobe to sweat in? I spent most of yoga thinking about their perfectly planned outfits and how the world's problems were really their fault when it hit me. These ladies were kicking my butt. 50 year old's were hoisting their entire bodies onto their elbows...THEIR ELBOWS. The instructor nonchalantly gave insane directions like, "bring your knee as close to your ear as possible " just as calmly as one would say, "today is Friday." Really not following the yoga mantra, I don't even play like I'm scanning, I straight up stare at these women in all their glory and debate whether they are real people or some kind of circus act and I am on some new reality show. Apparently they were method actors or legit because they never budged. Toward the end of the class, the instructor was wanting us to do some form of a human pretzel all to the left side of our body, I sat Indian style for a minute, bewildered because everyone in the class seemed to think this was totally normal and my geometry challenged brain could not fathom how to begin making my body do this strange requests. And then it hit me... I guess clothes make the...man, no gym guru. I always hear, "dress for the job you want" and "dress how you want to feel" so maybe..."dress for your desired state of hotness that you want to occur after many hours of sweating at the gym"?? Think it will catch on?

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.