my first gadget

Remember a long time ago when I blogged about blogging and about those professional bloggers who had the really professional and wonderfully expensive cameras who were able to take pictures of every second of their day to blog about them? No. Wait, you don't read the News daily? Well, here it is. This Sunday something magically changed. I've had a camera, but not one of those people who always carries around their cameras and once I got the iphone the old camera seemed soooo difficult (BRAT) to take out the memory card and transfer to my laptop when I could send the grainy pic easily to my email. Although my blog pics look really 2001, who cares? All 3 of my regular readers have never complained about the quality! Well times they are a changing my friends. Say (uhh humm SING) so long, farewell to the nasty totally lame photos of the past and feast our eyes on this beauty. Well, perhaps this will be the last of the less than wonderful pics. As awesome as this camera is, I haven't figured out how it can take a pic of itself. This weekend my thoughtful husband, my parents, and mother-in-law combined their powers to buy me a fancy-pants camera! I was totally shocked and since then I've been running around the house channeling my inner photographer and attempting to launch a new career taking pictures of things very, very up close.... because that's what makes a good photographer, right?

Oh yes, up close pic of the cupcake picture holder that my sweetest Momma gave me is so artsy.

Up close picture of the Ivy Cake cupcakes my Mom brought. The cupcake on the right is the wedding cupcake Carrie Underwood had at her wedding. We are very chic, hence the up close pictures.

Not really an up close shot...but first (and really only flowers) I have grown. Really I did absolutely nothing to aid these beauties but I didn't kill them either. Success.

Unusually bathed, collared shirt but always cute brother at my Sunday birthday celebration!

Sharon, Mom and Ashley in our kitchen.

So watch out. I'm obsessed with getting the fast, in the moment, you're not looking, candid shot and I will annoyingly be lurking around all future social engagements. Get your detag ready.

For Natalie's news this has been, Natalie-Corinne.

Bob Vila

As a new home owner, you can run but you can't hide from the weekend project. When the weather is cold naturally we tend to the indoor necessities but at the first hint of Spring men (and women too, no judgement or exclusions here) wake up with out alarms and run outside, Christmas morning style to play with the grown up toys...tools. Say what you will about the many (many, many, many, necessities, must-haves, can't live with out) tools but giving a man a sunny day, some tools and a project and it equivalent to giving me a guilt free shopping spree down a size. Heaven. This weekend P started our biggest project yet... the kitchen cabinet (insert OoooOoo Ahhhh). Obviously this required a lot of new tools and...surrounding neighboring menfolk. It's like when men hear the dull roar of a wood sander it puts them in a weird heat and they come from far and wide to feast their eyes on the mysterious project. I really want National Geographic to create some kind of Call of the Wild Suburbia reality show about the captivating call of the power drill. As P started to renew kitchen cabinet neighborhood men came from far and wide. While in the kitchen (yes, the men folk outside and the lady in the kitchen, I hope you didn't blink because you just missed hell freezing over) and being my really sneaky (wait, stalker?) self I conveniently captured this male moment. So no, not the best shot... and let's break it down. Yes, that is my husband in shorts and dark socks. I don't really know how this happened. He wears that around the house at times and I think it's strangely cute in a I never ever, ever want anyone else to see you do this and it's our little thing kind of way. Then he ventured out to the mail... okay better than a too tight or short robe, right? But now, he wears this "ensemble" with all his glory. It doesn't seem like the neighbors seem to mind too much. The other men are our new best friends and neighbors. The neighborhood men heard the battle cry of the power sander and the sweet smell of freshly cut wood and blindly make their way, crossing over tall weeds (oh wait, we have to cut those?) to behold the beautiful, almighty sight of the weekend warrior project. (TA-DA).



For Natalie's News this has been, Bob Vila (from the 70s w/ all the huge hair).

Under the gun

Not to make light of natural disasters but every time it rains here in Nashville, Lisa Patton gets all Jo Jo Circus Clown and predicts the end of the world. Tonight we had some rain and everyone in their mother ran out to Kroger and then got in their bathtub with the cats, (and at one time gerbils, gross) shoes, purse, cell phones, flashlights, radio (oh wait, maybe this is just my mother and my family) and waited for our doom. Tonight I actually tempted fate and sat under a window and watched Lisa Patton get all heated about the crazy storm. Although I appreciate the minute by minute details of the Storm Tracker 2000 (so obvi named in 1997 when everything about the year 2000 was so amazing and exotic and now is so Atkins, AOL, and the Rachel haircut) I think she gets a little happy with the linking the cities to the storm feature. Anytime tonight she was linking unknown towns to the storm when she created a not so friendly little symbol shown here....

Okay, I can't be the only one who sees it, right? Obviously not really a swastika (thank God) but getting kind of close. Come on Lisa. Fail. (ugh, I'm so over the fail too).

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.

party in the city where the heat is on...

Andy and the goddesses of Bravo created yet another Housewives series filled with winos, wannabe models, and gallons of botox. Every time they come out with another city I swear I won't watch but somehow the magic of Bravo sucks me in and I am totally hooked. Although I don't think this will be my favorite of the housewives series, I find it necessary to inform the faithful readers of my careful critique and obviously go back to my sorority days and use some Robert's rules of order to ensure fairness.
Pro: Latinas! I love the Latin flavor. Everyone is Cuban, gorgeous, proud, and just the ever so slightest loud and tacky (but in the best way possible). The ladies, their clothes, houses, jewelry and lives are so over the top and cray.

Con: Fake drama. It seems like these ladies need more going on. I know some have jobs and families etc but a lot of the episode seems like they were trying to make drama out of nothing. It also seems like they don't really know each other all that well. It also seems like they are big ol' drunky drunks but that's okay if you're rich.

Con: Really out of control, redic plastic surgery fails. Okay, so I don't usually like the fail bandwagon (especially now that Andy (umm hello Cohen) says he doesn't like it either, good Lord, we need to be friends yesterday, for both of our sakes) but there is no other way to describe some of the non-expression expressions these ladies "provide". While I'm not trying to see holier than though because I am not at all above getting some kind of enhancement if it looks natural and I can do it when no one can ever finds out and I can deny it forever. But when your face looks like some plastic and flammable mask only appropriate on Halloween you know one has a serious problem. Seriously some of these women have passed Joan Rivers and on their way to Michael Jackson. (too soon?)
Pro: Miami. I'm glad they picked this city. Different from any other city and I was getting sick of ghetto drama and nasally yankees. Perfect change and a fab inspiration for pre-summer dieting. Then it reminded me of one of the best trips ever with my great Ole Miss friends! Memories...

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.

cray

State basketball tournament at my school

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Black History Month Program rehearsals

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Choir Rehearsals

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Great friends having a baby

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finally cleaning and getting rid of our apartment..forever

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starting and actually finishing some home projects

+

my regularly crazy job and life

____________________________________________________________

= a totally cray and out of control Natalie that has no time for Natalie's News.

tainted love

Everyday at a middle school can feel similar to an asylum but Valentine's Day leads to an entire new level of insecurity, sugar overload, drama, and overall cray cray. The day started with extra "vigor" as tomorrow's leaders rushed in to see who brought what and who received the most balloons and stuffed animals. All the girls stampeded to the bathroom (gross, why do they hang in the bathroom?) to compare what all they brought and then attempt to talk each other into giving the present to a unsuspected boy "for a friend". Although the extra stage of hyper was annoying some of the events of unrequited love were painful and the material everyone needs for a Prozac prescription and a career in the arts. At first I was surprised with how many girls brought their "boyfriends" (who they were afraid to even go up and give their presents to) Valentine's presents only to be left with nothing. Then I decided I wasn't that surprised. Girls are always more organized and usually plan ahead. The girls planned for weeks what they would get the boys, when and how they would give the present to them, what they would say, how to wrap it etc the boys had not thought past how to eat a biscuit while sneaking in a football at the same time. Like they do everyday. But still try every. single. day. A few of my female students were upset so I attempted to give them my best buck up and do crossed with "The Rules" speech ever. I even got so fired up at one point that I told a student to go ask for the present back, especially if the candy was good. Luckily there were no fights today so I can only assume this student did not attempt to take back her candy. As painful as it is I believe it is a right of passage to have an awful Valentine's Day. Everyone needs to know the pain of bringing a chocolate rose with the price tag still on expecting to find one in return only to be laughed at. Why this has to be a requirement I'm not too sure, but I do now that Middle School is pretty awful for almost everyone so you might as well get it over with then. (REALLY easy for me to say that now).

I hope everyone had a better Valentine's Day than some of my students. For Natalie's News this has been a very loved, Natalie-Corinne.

My funny Valentine

I hope everyone had a wonderful day. Although I posted some of the worst kisses ever this is by far my favorite Valentine (other than P) of all time. It is one of my life goals to be witty enough to come up with a great idea like this and then have the guts to do it and then send it to people...with eyes...where they can see it.

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.

Singleness Awareness Day/ Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day from everyone here at Natalie's News. If you are not with a loved one Valentine's Day can seem like this eternal abyss of loneliness (not that I've ever felt this way). And even ruder, Valentine's Day is on a Monday, gross. Although I am happily married and will be enjoying Valentine's Day with the hubby, it hasn't been that long ago when Valentine's day would send anxiety to every nerve in my body. I wish I could say I was one of those mature singles who took this day with a grain of salt and was happy for all my couple friends, but then I might as well also say that I love listening to Rush Limbaugh because I would be completely full of BS. When you're single on Valentine's Day it seems like everyone and their mother is receiving 6,000 roses, countless heart shaped necklaces, stuffed animals, romantic candy etc. Don't even think about going out to dinner. Every restaurant is running some couples special and the air is polluted with sweet nothings that make the average singleton turn to drinking, Dr. Phil, or buckets of cookie dough. Even if you haven't been on a date in this millennium on Valentine's Day whenever anyone walks into your place of employment inevitably your stomach gets all tingly with the silly hope that someone special has sent you flowers. What is the single person to do on Valentine's Day? Have no fear, Natalie's News has you covered. Below are pictures of the most awkward and unwelcomed kisses ever captured in the media. Once you've witnessed these beauties you'll forget all about the Hallmark created holiday and thank your lucky stars that you are not one of these unfortunate starts that were caught in the act of bad lip locks and are too famous to simply detag. Enjoy. You're Welcome.

For Natalie's News this has been a very grossed out, Natalie-Corinne.

tyra took over

*Warning* Blog written under the influence of lots of medicine, will not take responsibility for content.my sick couch

Day 3 of couch bound has completely taken over and any shred of the normal Natalie waved bye bye long time ago and a new stage of crazy mixed with boredom and a dash of smoker's cough have created a smog of delusion and meltdown. For the last week I've lived on the "sick couch" (when we were young and we got sick, Mom would put a blanket over our couch and bring all of our comfy pillows, blankets, stuffed animals, orange juice, etc and create a sick ouch and we almost always felt better...this sick couch was not nearly as good as Momma's) and the lack of stimulation is really starting to get to me. I get so bored I decided I need to clean or cook and then after a little task such as showering or warming up soup, sickness takes over and I feel like I've ran a marathon and I sit down and the cycle starts all over again! Facebook and my regular blogs are not enough to keep this "eternal learner" occupied for this many days so one would think I would take this opportunity to read an actual book...ehh no. I thought about it many times but then I remembered this story on head trauma on NPR about a girl who had a concussion and went back to school right away and the doctor said her brain actually needed down time. Now, I know I've had no brain trauma (eh...) but I find in these times of tribulation it is better to be safe than sorry. So I've been stalking like the best of them hopping from one blog to the next. Like with everything else in life there are major trends in the blog scene. One of the bigger blog trends I've found recently is the "at home fashionista". I just made that term up but seriously these ladies are everywhere snapping daily pictures of the bold prints, neon colored jackets and skinny belts. And while I think most of their outfits are daring, eclectic and blog worthy... their awkward poses...maybe not. It's like everyone doesn't want to admit that they too have watched 50 billion hours of America's Next Top Model and is doing their best to nail the pigeon toed look or the vogue shrunken shoulders. I mean I have been more than guilty of this sin but perhaps some people look like they're taking themselves too seriously? I also wonder who takes these pictures of them? I can only imagine asking P to take pictures of me attempting to model everyday in the freezing cold and him laughing the first couple of days and then eventually get really fed up with the whole situation and him either praying I'd forget about the new burst of creativity or attempt to teach me to use the self timer. Or maybe, deep down I'm a bit jealous that I don't have the ability to remix my wardrobe and the commitment to chronicle it everyday :)

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.

10!

Today was snow day number 10 and although I did not get to enjoy the free day normally because of my bird flu, I did enjoy not having to take another sick day. Then the day got even better. Parts of middle Tennessee have been declared a natural disaster already. (insert giddy school girl laugh here) Why would I be excited about a natural disaster? Only because that means we wouldn't have to make up snow days! WHOOP! I looked on the metro facebook page and rumors are already flying about the possibility that we might not have to make up all these snow days. I can only imagine this is what winning the lottery or fitting into your skinny jeans everyday must feel like. The mysterious force that controls their facebook page said it is not a guarantee... but the eternal optimist in me just knows that means it's at least a possibility! It's not that I don't want to work, it's just that I really like getting paid when I'm at home not working even more. Honestly, the make up time is a joke anyway. After May 1, middle school consists of movies, odd and humiliating teacher vs student basketball games, often painful talent shows, and of course more movies. They've got to be saving loads (technical data here) of money on electricity, food costs, support staff, water etc on the days were are not there so really aren't we just doing our part to balance the budget if we don't go back? Everyone wins.

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.

best diet ever

well I finally gave in and went to the doctor. Being a nurse's daughter I skipped any desire to want to help others, bandage gross wounds, or see blood on a regular basis but I did retain the ability to diagnose myself. I just knew I had a little cough or cold and it would be fine...but for the first time in my life I was wrong.. (I'll wait for the shock to set it) I have bronchitis and am hacking enough to put the longest of smokers to shame. So I've been home, sleeping, watching television, sleeping, facebooking, sleeping, etc. On a positive note I will be so skinny after this whole episode so whatever. Nothing tastes... or feels as good as skinny!

In other news, thankfully I have not been featured on any news programs because I returned with all my students and the field trip downtown was a success. How I managed to keep up with all my students and catch the city bus while being this sick is beyond me. Although it was totally freezing I think the students enjoyed riding the city bus. Some of my students are so hilarious and were entertaining the fellow passengers on the bus and a lady on the bus grabbed my arm and said, "bless your heart, these kids are just too much, you're a special lady"! I wanted to tell her about a million stories but I bit my tongue and just smiled. The only downside was that after the show the usher would not let my students out of the theater and we missed our bus back to school. If I were by myself I would have totally showed out but since I was the one in charge and supposed to be the "example" I told the usher we would miss our bus etc and she rudely brushed me away and say, "they're will be another one". Ugh. I almost had a panic attack but I knew there was not another bus for 45 minutes and then my students would miss lunch. Luckily I pulled out the Iphone and text a friend who rides the bus a lot and found a new route. I mean, what did we do before the cell phone? I would of been downtown, with my choir trying my hardest to read a... map. Oh Lord, we would be in Oklahoma by now.

Well my cough medicine is kicking in and I'm almost asleep. For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.

wide open mouth

So it's happened twice... not just once, twice. I've bragged about my ability to not get sick because I am around kids all the time and my immune system is a solid block. Then some cosmic force gets sick of all the drama in the Middle East and decides to wreck some good old fashioned common cold possibly flu havoc. Prior to this winter I have not been really sick for 3 years...and then I started to brag about it and now every snot nosed, germy, unwashed hand transfers every possible germ into my failing immune system. Even worse I cannot take a sick day. Being the over achiever I've planned a field trip so I have to go to work AND to save money I decided to take the city bus so now we have walk blocks... in the cold. Normally I totally wouldn't care about this at all and would look forward to gallivanting around the city but my fever, aching body, cough, and lost voice do not bode well for taking kids on the city bus downtown. As my Mom would say it is time to buck up and do and I will take those kids on the best field trip ever in America...or just attempt to not lose anyone and end up on Nancy Grace. Whatever the case, we will make it and then I will collapse...

Wish me luck! For Natalie's News this has been a sickly, Natalie-Corinne.

Valentine's Day...

When a relationship is new Valentine's Day is so exciting...

Will he go cheesy or romantic? My inner monologue used to go something like this, "I hope it's not a stuffed bear, oh I bet he bought a stuffed bear, well hopefully it's small...no I bet its huge. Get your game face ready. I hope I get some chocolate with some caramel in it.. Oh, will he say the L word?" etc.

Oh what should I get him?

Should I get him something real or try to make something cute like coupons or a scrapbook?

(*I think the homemade thing is only cute in high school)

Our first real Valentine's Day P got me a beautiful necklace that I love and cooked an amazing dinner of steak and lobster.

Then couples are together for a little while and gifts get more practical.
Last year I got a great pair of Sperry rain boots that I adore!

actually boots pictured here, cute right?

No, not a heart shaped necklace, but really cute shoes and I think of him every time it rains or snow.
*Plus according to my students they are "fresh" so that always makes me feel good.

(*Very into * today...)

This year...

We are married.

Oh and homeowners.

And actually need things for our...house.

We are buying each other a...wait for it, wait for it...

a hanging pot rack!

I mean, I know super hot and romantic, right?

But we can think of each other every time we look at the pot rack rather than the holes and random hooks coming from our kitchen ceiling, right?

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.

Heaven

This week has been.. well... how can I put it.. totally, unbelievably, exhausting. Every night I walk inside barely able to make it to the couch. I've stayed after school, had choir two times, witnessed multiple fights, and greatly added to my premature wrinkles. (How long am I allowed to say premature?) AND it has snowed everywhere else in America except for Nashville and it looks like I will actually have to work an entire week...To make matters worse, the light on my phone aka lifeline went out today at work. My wonderful hubby made an appointment at the Apple store and after work I zoomed over to the swanky Green Hills Mall. All I was thinking of getting into the store, getting out, and trying to make it home in some kind of way that avoided the cray traffic of rush hour. So I parked hurriedly walked in and then almost fainted. I'm not really all that materialistic and (although I have recently began loving me some Coach accessories) I'm not one to fawn over designers but all that changed today. In a matter of 20 minutes I left crazy town and entered a beautiful, clean, quiet mall with welcoming stores that played soothing Classical music. I found myself thinking shopping therapy would be way more fun and beneficial than the half marathon I am doing in order to "have less stress". Usually I go to the closer Cool Springs Galleria and of course have frequented Green Hills but today the mall just spoke to me. Tiffany's, Coach, Louis Vuitton, Burberry, etc just kept calling, coaxing me into their meticulous stores...Then I remembered I was a teacher and did not have the disposable income to afford this luxury...

Which wait, how is having a huge work out plan, making every inch of my body hurt and scream at me a way to relieve stress?

So anyway, right before I sold our house and decided to move into the beautiful mall I found the Apple store. I walk in and am greeted by someone. He takes my name and an Apple employee meets me within a minute...seriously? I'm all for democracy but if Apple could run the world and everything would be that efficient I would totally get on board. (sorry uncle Ray, Microsoft is good, too) I mean I know, I know the middle east is all up in arms about having a say in things... but can people really do it better than Apple? No. (sorry Egypt..)

So anyway, my new Apple friend Tim basically tells me he can do nothing and will not help and I should buy a new phone. So wait, maybe not everything is perfect at Apple land.

But anyway, what I learned today is that I live in a constant state of tired and tense shoulders and as diva as it sounds entering a swanky, overpriced, and snobby mall made me feel...complete.

I hope you got the pre-crazy Tom Cruise "you complete me".

For Natalie's News this has been a very WASPy, Natalie-Corinne.

(No worries, still not a repub)

mindless in the middle school...

Sometimes when I'm teaching I want to have a nervous break down about the future of our society. Then sometimes I realize I'm a huge drama queen. Usually I feel like I have a great memory, but middle school isn't the clearest of days. Perhaps it's all the changes, maybe it's because I really wanted to shop at the Limited, maybe I finally realized I wasn't athletic, or maybe I was too obsessed with a curly headed boy named Wes, but I want to think I sometimes paid attention... maybe? I don't know...and if I wasn't, how did I make up this three years of knowledge? In some way I had to learn something, was it osmosis? I have no idea but I hope something magical happens toward the end of your 8th grade year when students are able to have interests beyond farts, boobs, texting, and shoes....

We shall see.

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.