life lessons from Beverly Hills

What I've learned from the Housewives...

1. Nothing tastes as good as skinny. Tonight on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Russell (awkward) throws a birthday party for Taylor and there is so much food and none of the ladies eat anything... and they all look amazing in their dresses. You can detag a facebook pic, but you can't detag cellulite.

2. Prepare a toast! Seriously? Tonight Russell (wet noodle) gave his wife, mother of his child a toast that made me yearn for a root canal. It made my skin craw and I was sitting in Tennessee, six months later wearing my non glamorous Ole Miss sweatshirt, umm can you imagine being there? Would probably want a drink... speaking of...!!!

3. Alcohol + limos + family drama + random British guy = disaster!!! Omg, that fight was so out of control. All their business was so out in the open. Gross. Although a lot of people seem to be on team Kim I am so team Kyle. I cannot stand folks who play the victim and use others and that's what I feel that she does.. you know because I know them so well from those 44 minutes...

4. You need to be over 60 to wear multiple tight pearls. Sorry Kim, but pearl overload tonight. I think the tight pearls around the neck was plenty but then then bracelet? Hottie dress then 19th century royal jewels. Fail. (yes, I finally joined the fail bandwagon)


5. You should marry someone who likes to go to awful parties, listen to awkward toasts, and wear uncomfortable clothes. I cannot get over how many redic situations these guys suffer through all to stand next to a beautiful, plastic woman who doesn't eat. One would think perhaps the lack of food bill would be one advantage but I think the rest of the lavish lifestyle more than makes up for the skipped lunches.

6. Oh and for any of these rules to apply to anyone make a billion dollars and move to Beverly Hills, perhaps this should have been rule 1?

For Natalie's News this has been, Natalie-Corinne.